IPPF's HIV Blog

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

India: Marrying into HIV

Amita* is a 31 year old outreach worker for the Family Planning Association of India’s Comprehensive HIV and AIDS Management Project in Madurai, India. On the steps of the village’s community hall, her laughter and the vibrant colours she wears suggest little of the challenges Amita has overcome.

‘I was sixteen when I married. Sex with my husband was both physically and emotionally painful. He had sores all over his genitals and I soon got an itchy rash. He told me he only married me to have children and he would continue his relationships with other women. I am sure he knew he was HIV-positive before he married me. With no idea about sexual and reproductive health matters, I asked my neighbour what I should do about the pain and itching. She suggested cleaning myself with rice water and soap and said girls sometimes got this the first time they have sex.

After having our second child, my husband became very sick. He was bed-ridden with diarrhoea and couldn’t work. His mouth was ulcerated and his muscles had wasted away. His uncle took him to a private hospital to find out what was wrong. The doctor told my husband’s uncle that he was HIV-positive and then the entire village found out. My in-laws blamed me. People stood away from me, I wasn’t even allowed to touch the village tap. At school my child was made to sit and eat separately. Worst of all the village men said my husband would die soon and they would be able to have sex with me. The whole village thought they would get infected with HIV and eventually we were driven out. I wanted to die.

After some time, we returned to the village. Things had calmed down a little and people had a bit more understanding of HIV. I decided to help increase this understanding and to support people living with HIV by becoming an outreach worker for the Family Planning Association of India. I feel strong now. Due to treatment, my husband is fit and working again. I feel proud that I took care of him and saved his life. I don’t want other people to ever have to experience that I did – therefore I use my outreach work to provide the help that I was never got when I was a young married woman.’

*Name changed to protect confidentiality


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